If you want to see this "live", just go in an orphanage or a kindergarten and try to make friends among the children there. You will soon realize how they attach to you. Each child is different. Some need more attention than the others and the way they express their need for affection can sometimes be through a keen sense of possession. They want your full attention directed only to them. On the other hand, others are reasonable and understand that your attention has to be equal to all the others.
Let’s see more about the attachment types.
Secure
A secure attachment style is the psychological ideal. John Bowlby (1969) originally proposed this theory and he states that secure attachment develops when the primary care giver consistently and successfully meets the needs of an infant child, from birth to about age two. In other words, we learn at a very young age whether the world and the people in it can be counted on to meet our needs, from the most basic need of hunger, to our needs for love and affection. We learn who are the ones we can trust and expect protection from.
As we mature and involve in romantic relationships, we inevitably bring with us this deep-seated view about what we can expect from people we are in relations with.
A secure attachment style person tends to be positive, optimistic, and constructive in her/his interactions with others. The general tendency of such person is to be more trusting and less prone to loneliness when compared to those with insecure attachment styles.
Preoccupied
As Bowlby's theory says, preoccupied attachment style develops when the primary care giver inconsistently and/or unsuccessfully meets the needs of an infant. Because the child perceives that sometimes his needs are met and sometimes they are not, this creates a desire for familiarity, fondness and love combined with a fear of rejection or abandonment.
At maturity age, people with a preoccupied attachment style tend to show a great deal of sincerity and enthusiasm to get close in a romantic relationship. They tend to be emotional, especially under stress, and may show more jealousy than those with other attachment styles.
Dismissing Avoidant
The dismissing avoidant attachment style is supposed to develop when the primary caregiver consistently does not meet the needs of an infant. Bowlby originally observed this style of attachment in British orphanages that were overfull after the World War II ended. Because there were so many children and so few personnel, the babies were often left alone in cribs for extended periods of time. The only logical explanation these children could come up with was that the world and the people in it could not be counted on to take care of them, as they didn’t have their basic needs of hunger and affection met.
Therefore, in adulthood people with dismissing avoidant attachment style tend to be very independent and self-reliant. They don't usually find it easy to open up to others or to let themselves depend on other people. They tend to withdraw from their romantic partner when they or their partner are under stress.
